Unrequited Love
“The saddest thing in the world is to love someone who used to love you.”
*anonymous
Victims of psychopaths suffer from unrequited love. It’s at the root of their pain and suffering and on occasion it rears its head and stings them like a viper. It is accusing and cutting, the authenticity of this condition allows for no other explanation.
It doesn’t matter their loved one is a psychopath; they loved, he didn’t. It places the victim in the role of pursuer and it is a role the psychopath uses to cover for his wretched behavior. He tells co-workers, friends, family: “she wants me;” “she’s insane, look at how she’s behaving;” “I tried to make it work; she can’t compromise.”
And once a victims realizes psychopaths cannot love, deep down they may think: “they can love, just not me.” This is because psychopaths generally have simultaneous relationships running, that enable them to pop out of one into another. To the casual spectator the psycho may looks like the partner who just wanted out. His rapid rebound, a sign of his disinterest in his past partner rather than a red flag pointing to his disorder.
Meanwhile back in reality, the victim of the psychopath is a wreck, quite a normal one. Emotional wrecks are swerved around and avoided by acquaintances leading to the belief the psycho “got all the ‘friends’ too.” The loss is compounded and clouded by loving one who cannot love and being abandoned by “friends.”
But once victims take a little time, they see the psycho and the circle of “friends” for who they are– shallow. It is hard to wake up beached on isle without a life boat, but it is an opportunity to rebuild ones life from what’s inside.
Self-preservation and self-love are the invisible propellants that eject the victim out of the snares of the psychopath, for unlike the object of normal unrequited love, the psychopath strings along his victims with gas lighting and abuse sometimes even abuse by proxy, anything to stay-in-touch lest he ever get hungry again.
Victims of psychopaths free themselves whether they realize it or not yet psychos won’t let go. Their love, having no where to go, rebounds off of the psycho and back to them. The first step is realizing we want to be without them, we chose this and did so because we are loved. We love ourselves.
Originally posted 2009-03-13 02:33:34. Republished by Blog Post Promoter
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March 17th, 2009 on 00:20
These types are very scary. Charming facade and evil persona. One of the best books I’ve read on this topic is The Anatomy of Human Destructiveness by Eric Fromm. It is a psycho-analytical tour of life enhancing and life thwarting mind-sets and behaviours. Whilst it isn’t a ‘light’ read it is really interesting, and makes you realise just how vulnerable we can be if we don’t pay attention to spotting psychopathic behaviours. The thing that distrubs me most about them is the fact that they are beyond persuasion due to their total lack of empathy. Normal social rules don’t apply so don’t even try to use them.
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