Maryannaville™

It’s Summer again and I think we need to be reminded of a few things. So my sandal loving sisters, raise your big toes and repeat after me:

The Open Toed Shoe Pledge
As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules when wearing sandals or other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs.  And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will either go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free.  I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe, either.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.  I will also shave the hairs off my big toe if needed.

I will never wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me that the toe seam will stay under my toes.

If a strap breaks, I won’t duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put.  I will get the shoe fixed or it gets tossed.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl’s if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids’ sizes.  This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals.  Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

I promise that if I wear flip flops I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking. I will swear NOT to slide nor drag my feet while wearing them.

I promise to go to my local nail salon at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $25 or $35 and worth EVERY penny).

I promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear. Nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals. Show us that you care about yourself, your feet.  Get a pedicure, puhleeze!

This has been a public service announcement.

If you should dislike our new office locale,  we especially named this street to address those who might be particularly disgruntled with our decision to relocate.

Live and let live.

One of our long distance friends from the middle-east will arrive this month and he needs to sell his Laptop immediately. His final asking price is $200 for the whole unit.   The right buyer will want to take advantage of this offer right away. Invest in this beauty either for school or for business.  Check out the details:

Brand: HP ( June 2008 )

System Configuration:

Pentium IV 2.2 GHz (Intel Pentium- Core 2 Duo)
2 GB DDR Ram
17″ inch widescreen opengl x2AGP
Video Card (32 MB )
Nvidia AGP graphics card
120 GB SATA HDD
DVD writer
SBlive SoundBlaster
2x Fire Wire
3xUSB ports

Complete with accessories & Easy comfort carry-case.
Bluetooth included
Built in Web cam

Please leave your message of interest in the comments and we will get back to you as soon as possible.  As you can see, this is a once in a lifetime deal so you better hurry soon!

Okay, I never said that he was very bright. I said that he wants to sell his laptop quickly once he arrives. Surely the retail value for the speakers alone are at a minimum price of $200.00.  I’m trusting that if you’re interested that you are also able to note the deal you’d get if you were to purchase this rig of his.

Update: June 30th 2009

I’m afraid we must pull this offer from the table, anxious buyers.  He’s here now and we have a problem, Houston.

We apologize for any and all inconveniences.

Dinosaurs are fascinating. My four-year-old is obsessed with them.

Recently, we were riding on a bus and he asked another passenger for her name.

“My name is Deena,” she said. “Can you say Deena?”

“Deena,” said my son. “Can you say pachycephalosaurus?”

Officially stolen from THE  Mad Labrador!
He’s the bomb!

Oh, and don’t get mad and leave —  Just leave.

We may need to keep a better eye on what the kids are doing.

Congratulations, Norway!  Alexander Rybak and his group’s performance of “Fairytale” {!} {!} {!} was an awesome performance that won the 2009 Eurovision Song Contest held in Moscow.

There is a wisdom that contains the structure of reality–who we really are and why we are.  Now mind you, understanding reality can lead to reality’s freedom. Are you prepared to greet that which awaits you or are you similar to this rodent?

Like him, are you looking into the portal or are you looking out from the portal?

Real Mothers don’t eat quiche; they don’t have time to make it. Real Mothers know that when they can’t find their kitchen utensils, they are probably lost somewhere inside the sandbox. Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids. Real Mothers know that dried play dough doesn’t come out of the carpet. Real Mothers want to know what the vacuum inhaled. Real Mothers sometimes ask, “Why me?”  The truth comes quietly when she hears a little voice say, “Because I love you best.”

Real Mothers know that a child’s growth is not measured by height, years nor grade. A child’s growth is measured by whether the child calls his Mommy, Mom, or Mother.

The Images of Mother

4 YEARS OF AGE:  My Mommy can do anything!

8 YEARS OF AGE:  My Mom knows a whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE:  My Mother doesn’t really know everything.

14 YEARS OF AGE:  Naturally, Mother doesn’t know about that, either.

16 YEARS OF AGE:   Mother? She’s hopelessly old-fashioned.

18 YEARS OF AGE:  That old woman? She’s way out of date!

25 YEARS OF AGE:  Well, she might just know a bit about it!

35 YEARS OF AGE:  Before we decide, let’s get Mom’s opinion.

45 YEARS OF AGE:   Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?

65 YEARS OF AGE:  Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure she carries, nor in the way she combs her hair. A woman’s beauty is seen in her eyes; they are the threshold to her heart. Her beauty is not in a facial mole; her beauty is the passion that radiates through her soul. Her beauty evolves with each new passing year.

Happy Mother’s Day!

He’s the Head Cheese.