Maryannaville™

I am grateful that I didn’t have to rescue the poor little fella.

I am pretty sure this qualifies as one of the things that could really tick a badger off.

It was “one of  THOSE days.”  You too can relate, can’t you?

As a bagpiper, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man who had no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a cemetery in a remote countryside and this man would be the first soul to be laid to rest.

I was unfamiliar with the backwoods area and became lost moreover, being a typical man, did not stop for directions.  I finally arrived an hour late.  I saw the backhoe and the crew who were eating lunch but the hearse was nowhere in sight. I apologized to the workers for my tardiness and stepped to the side of the open grave where I saw the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long but this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I played out my heart and soul.

As I played the workers began to weep. I played and I played like I’d never played before, from Going Home and The Lord is My Shepherd to Flowers of the  Forest. I closed the lengthy session with Amazing Grace and walked to my car.  As I was opening the car door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, “Sweet Jeezuz, Mary ‘n Joseph,  I never seen nothin’ like that before  and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

“The saddest thing in the world is to love someone who used to love you.”
*anonymous

Victims of psychopaths suffer from unrequited love. It’s at the root of their pain and suffering and on occasion it rears its head and stings them like a viper.  It is accusing and cutting, the authenticity of this condition allows for no other explanation.

It doesn’t matter their loved one is a psychopath; they loved, he didn’t. It places the victim in the role of pursuer and it is a role the psychopath uses to cover for his wretched behavior. He tells co-workers, friends, family: “she wants me;” “she’s insane, look at how she’s behaving;”  “I tried to make it work; she can’t compromise.”

And once a victims realizes psychopaths cannot love, deep down they may think: “they can love, just not me.”  This is because psychopaths generally have simultaneous relationships running, that enable them to pop out of one into another. To the casual spectator the psycho may looks like the partner who just wanted out.  His rapid rebound, a sign of his disinterest in his past partner rather than a red flag pointing to his disorder.

Meanwhile back in reality, the victim of the psychopath is a wreck, quite a normal one. Emotional wrecks are swerved around and avoided by acquaintances leading to the belief the psycho “got all the ‘friends’ too.”  The loss is compounded and clouded by loving one who cannot love and being abandoned by “friends.”

But once victims take a little time, they see the psycho and the circle of  “friends” for who they are– shallow. It is hard to wake up beached on isle without a life boat, but it is an opportunity to rebuild ones life from what’s inside.

Self-preservation and self-love are the invisible propellants that eject the victim out of the snares of the psychopath, for unlike the object of normal unrequited love, the psychopath strings along his victims with gas lighting and abuse sometimes even abuse by proxy, anything to stay-in-touch lest he ever get hungry again.

Victims of psychopaths free themselves whether they realize it or not yet psychos won’t let go.  Their love, having no where to go,  rebounds off of the psycho and back to them. The first step is realizing we want to be without them, we chose this and did so because we are loved.  We love ourselves.

There must be some sort of animal medication for this poor ole guy. I hope his owners have a heart and get it for him.